You didn't hear that Wright?
by Randomblackberry
Summary: Athena thinks Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright should get together. Widget thinks so as well. Very loudly.


**Ayyyyyy. It's like one in the morning. Take a super short, super rushed, super unedited oneshot.**

"They should totally date," Athena whispered to Apollo.

Apollo turned as red as his suit and proceeded to choke on what was seemingly air.

"Athena!" he whisper shouted. "What the actual hell?"

Athena shrugged, not bothered. "They should."

They, in question, were Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth, childhood friends and rivals. They were also standing quite close. However, they seemed to be too busy making casual innuendo to notice Wright's subordinates' conversation.

"I...I guess?" Apollo squeaked. "I mean. That's a bit out of the blue to just say it like that..."

Athena nodded to herself, clearly not listening to him. "Yeah. Bet you five bucks they'll fuck tonight."

Apollo let out the quietest strangled gasp he could manage. "They're not going to just go off and... and... No. I don't need that image."

Athena was still not listening to him, her hand cradled around Widget's glowing green screen.

"I can hear the happiness in their voices at just talking to each other." Athena said dreamily, and then paused. "And a bit of mild amusement and irritation in Mr Edgeworth's."

Apollo sighed, finally regaining his composure. "They're just talking about the case Athena."

"Nope!" his junior partner replied, voice still quiet despite her excitement. "They were made for each other! Any moment now they're going to confess their undying love to each other!"

Apollo let out a low groan, and made to leave the room, sick of this conversation.

"They should totally fuck!"

Wait. What. That was totally out of whisper zone level of noise.

The loud scream had come from none other than Widget, cradled in Athena's palm. Apollo turned, eyes blank with horror.

"Athena..."

Phoenix turned around, the expression on his face a mixture of confusion and amusement.

"Athena? Did your contraption say something about... fucks?"

Athena's terrified face was priceless. Apollo would have taken a picture, except he knew he looked the exact same.

"Ducks!" she blurted out lamely. "Ducks. I um. Looked out the window and saw ducks. Crossing the road!"

Edgeworth furrowed his brow. "Ducks? Out on the streets?"

Athena nodded a little too furiously. "I was so surprised, Widget let loose!"

Phoenix nodded far more seriously than the situation called for.

"Ah. That makes sense."

Bullshit. Apollo knew very well that his boss's words were utter shit. Athena had clearly not been around the agency long enough to know when Phoenix Wright was mocking her, and relief crossed her face.

"Well I'm going to go. And um. Make sure that those ducks cross the road safely."

And with speed Apollo had never witnessed before in his entire life, she fled the room.

Leaving a red faced Apollo alone with the two attorneys.

"Ah. I should probably go, and help Athena. With... With the ducks."

Phoenix grinned widely. "Yeah, you should probably do that, shouldn't you?"

Apollo edged towards the door. "Heh, yeah. Bye!"

"Apollo."

The horned lawyer stopped, sighed, and turned to face his boss.

"Just wanted to remind you that you owe Athena five bucks."

Confusion crossed Apollo's face.

Phoenix leant over and pecked a kiss onto a slightly uncomfortable looking Miles Edgeworth's cheek.

Apollo's jaw hit the floor.

"We've been dating for a couple of months." Phoenix said brightly. "And we do indeed have plans to _fuck_ tonight."

Apollo blinked.

"I do hope you weren't underestimating our hearing. We may be older than you two, but we're not exactly ancient by any standards." Edgeworth added.

Apollo glanced at the coffee table and considered hiding underneath it. And never coming out.

"I apologise. It wasn't my intention to have that conversation..." he trailed off.

Miles's lips curled upwards in a smile. "No apology needed."

Phoenix chirped in with a helpful, "Thanks for believing in my virginity Polly!"

A few moments that considered purely of Apollo sputtering in embarrassment and surprise passed before anyone spoke again.

"Well." Phoenix began. "Athena's probably having trouble with those ducks. Maybe you should help her out."

Apollo's bracelet pulsed, and he caught Phoenix's eyes lingering on Miles's form.

His blood ran cold. Screw the night, it looked like they were going to do it right now.

"Yup. O-Okay Mr Wright, I'll go, she probably needs lots of help with that, byeeeeeeeeeeee!"

And with that he ran off at a speed to rival Athena's.

He met the girl outside the agency, sitting on the front steps. She stood up as he approached, guilt on her face.

"Apollo? What's wrong? Did they hear us?"

Apollo took her hand. "Athena. We might need to give them some alone time for a few hours."

"Huh? Why?"

He grimaced. "Athena. They're taking your advice."

Athena blinked, clearly waiting for him to continue.

"We're all doomed." he finally said.

"Why?"

"Because you're an idiot."

He probably deserved that punch to the face.

 **Im sorry. This just popped into my head and I had to write it ): So sorry for how terrible it is!**


End file.
